Event Horizon

While Wiki may not be an academically sound source, for this particular purpose, it suits -

In general relativity, an event horizon is a boundary in spacetime beyond which events cannot affect an outside observer. In layman's terms it is defined as "the point of no return" i.e. the point at which the gravitational pull becomes so great as to make escape impossible.

To twist the meaning of Event Horizon a bit, as we Merkins* tend to do, the inevitable upcoming deployment is my Event Horizon. I mean, I know it's going to happen. I know it's going to happen soon, but for the first time in Jase's Naval career, I'm kind of... outside of it. It's coming - we're at the point of no return and there's no escaping it, but I don't feel particularly affected by it just yet. I'm not excited or horrified or disturbed or amused. It's just sorta there? That big thing that's going to happen sooner rather than later.

I'm not ignoring it - we've had the car serviced, Jase has updated his will and double checked his life insurance info to ensure it's all correct, we've made "plans" about who to call in case they have to deliver a notification of death, we've notified friends in the area that they're emergency contacts regarding pets or kids, we've set up a couple of Powers of Attorney so I can renew the plates on the car and register the kiddo for the youth center on base if needed and all that jazz. (isn't predeployment FUN? Such an affirmation of long life and joyous memories...)

My parentals, posing in front of some form of the P3. I think. *nods uncertainly

We've started talking to Small Thing about what a deployment is and what it means, because this will be the first one where she actually has an appreciation of the passage of time. The last time Jase deployed, the kiddo was four. Interestingly enough, April is also the Month of the Military Child so there are some extra things out and about for us to take advantage of and give her that extra special bit of "My daddy's a SAILOR and that's cool!" which we find helps to offset the "My daddy's a sailor and the NAVY keeps him away from our home!" NASWI (Naval Air Station Whidbey Island) has a FOCUS group, which is an acronym that I don't have memorized yet, but it helps families cope with the craziness of life during deployment. We've taken the first steps to getting Small Thing involved with that, so hopefully she'll have additional resources besides li'l ol' me and a few of her friends. Hey - kids need a good support system too, right? Right.

So yeah, we're dealing with the necessities of deployment, but really....... I'm usually a bit muchier? about the whole thing. Much more nervous about being on my own, more upset about the idea of "losing" six months of birthdays, holidays, memories..... More of a shutterbug, more into planning a few weekend excursions before D-Day (Deployment Day), more into writing notes to slip into his packout, more into laughing while threatening to send ultra cheesy care packages, more into making lists and checking them 5,284 times to make sure he has an alarm clock and nail clippers and three towels because two always get lost somehow and and and.....

Dad 'n' Jase, peering at an A-6, precursor to the EA-6B. I think.
*more uncertain nodding

And this time, well, this time it's just... different. Jase isn't heading into the wild unknown, stuck on a floating city made of steel with limited resources available. Last deployment he worked with EA-6B Prowlers and he was bouncing between being night check supervisor and being in charge of the entire work center. It was stressy and busy and high tension and he was damned good at it.

This time things are different. The aircraft he's working on now doesn't go anywhere near carriers. He's in the P-3 community and they deploy to air bases instead of to ships. The US Navy is a fantabulously versatile thing, eh? One would think that planes on an air base would be under the jurisdiction of the Air Force, but apparently not so much, akshually.

Those who remember the last time we were on sea duty (three years ago!) will know I generally don't talk about exact movement times or locations unless it's been publicly released by the command, and even then I tend to be a bit less than enthusiastic about sharing a whole lot. I like mah privacy, but I also like to be able to grumble or brag or help someone else who might need something to relate to in this crazy Navy life.

So yeah, deployment is coming. There it is - looming. And I find myself oddly ambivalent.

Gosh I hope that's the right word. (been one of those days)

In other news I've had to take a step back from Derby - the practice schedule doesn't quite line up with what I'm comfortable with for my kiddo. I missed a couple of Fresh Meat practices due to events a smidge beyond my control, and then the realization that the 7-10pm twice a week schedule is a great workout, but I get a bit stressy with being away from Jay at night (dumb, but true). So I'll still be skating - fairly religiously actually - and working on skills I need for Derby, I'm stepping back a bit from doing TOO much with the league until I feel like I can really commit to it. Aaaand until I can avoid going mental over leaving my kid with a sitter half the night.

Regardless of how it works out, I still hope to support the league in any way I can and possibly attend partial practices, without being a full league member. I've been talking with the officers and hopefully we can work something out. If not? There's always next time. I'm only going to get more comfortable on skates - so waiting sucks, but it's not crushing to me right now. Which, also, kind of tells me something. If I wanted it THAT badly, nothing would stand in my way - but when it feels like Derby is interrupting family time..... well, the Navy interrupts family enough, one of my hobbies doesn't necessarily need to do it too, yanno? (insert guilt factor ... HERE!)

Small Thing is pretty stoked about possible skating lessons - so that's another thing that I'm looking forward to: skating with her. Maybe we'll wind up in a place, eventually, that has a Derby Brats league and the wee one can wind up teaching her mom a thing or three about derby, eh?

Still - I love the bouts, love reading about the sport and learning more about it. I love how involved it is! On the surface, derby is just girls skating in an oval, bumping into each other and yelling a lot. When you look a little closer, you see how much skill is needed, not just to stay upright on your skates, but to realize what's happening around you and put the right strategies in play to help score points.

Me. In derby gear.
Yeah yeah.
You wish you were so fierce, eh?

Whidbey Island Roller Girls had a bout a couple weeks ago.... it was their first with Tough Love from the Bellingham Roller Betties. And yanno - Tough Love was right. I think the score was something like 314-24. The league learned a LOT though and came away with more knowledge and an idea of how to improve - Derby's like that. Lots of self taught lessons because so many areas only have upstart teams with limited talent pools and limited population. Bellingham is a HUGE city, with four teams of their own, all with their own staff from coaches to managers. Whidbey Island Roller Girls have their own team members juggling a LOT of responsibilities - I'm amazed of what these ladies have accomplished and how much time and effort they put into Derby.

It's one thing to mentally know that a sport is going to be a time sink. It's another to truly realize how much of your time is going to go into doing All Things Derby. And while I want that - a lot! - I want my kid to feel secure and happy first. When she's a smidge older, my tune will be a bit different too. ;o)

I guess Derby is a bit of an Event Horizon too - it's inevitable. I enjoy it. It scares the hell out of me, but it pushes my boundaries and I wind up doing things I never, ever thought I could do (jump over things on skates? fall down on purpose ... and occasionally on accident .. and laugh my ass off in the process? learn how to use my weight and leverage against other people? let a sassy smile spread as I say,"I like to be whipped..."). It's going to happen. I've found it and it's going to be a part of my life - no going back, baby.

Small Thing's report card came this week - another one of those unavoidable things. She's doing fairly well overall. She's bright and inquisitive and I think she's a teensy bit bored in school. She has issues with patience, blurting out answers, and assuming that the rules don't necessarily apply to her. This all sounds VERY familiar so I have issues correcting her. *sheepish grin Perhaps lessons in the art of Sucking Up should come into play soon? Academically though, her math and science knowledge/abilities place her as a 4th grade student, halfway through the year and her reading level is comparable to that of a 7th grader who has almost completed the term. She's eight.

Part of me wants to just swell with pride. A bigger part of me things that my kiddo is pretty average - logically and emotionally speaking she puts things together quickly, she likes to read, she's inquisitive, and she doesn't always take things at face value. I think these factors kinda put her above and beyond a lot of the TV-Raised kiddos in her age group. As far as her academic abilities though, I don't really see what she's capable of as something... extraordinary. To me, it feels more like the education system has adapted to the lowest common denominator, so things that were once average now seem Stellar and Wondrous.

Regardless? I am thoroughly pleased with my kiddo's performance in school. She's not a perfect student, and for that I am truly thankful. I think American public schools would like to produce cute little followers rather than forward thinking leaders, so if she has a few issues with authority and following rules, I'm totally cool with that.

Someone please remind me of that statement when she's a tween/teen, ok? Ok.

Oh! Other kickass news - my parents adopted a new jack russell! His name is Cody and he's a sweetie. I can't waaait to meet him this summer! We're heading out to visit the family (finally - an opportunity to vacation while in the States. Jeeeeez!) and pick up Vegas. I'm interested to see how Vegas and Jack get along, yanno?

Also, the bestest news by far, my Dad seems to have kicked cancer's ass and while he may never have the same vocal abilities, he'll be around for at least a few (dozen) more years.

I am so effin' relieved, I cannot tell you.......

Though I did have to laugh when Daddy found out I was working towards becoming a member of a Derby league. "Why the hell would you wanna do that? You're too competitive. Just.... *sigh* Don't lose your focus. You could get too into the moment and HURT someone!!!"

Geez, Dad. Who knew I was so ferocious??? :oP

SO! That's it for me, well, other than a few political rants which I could probably do without posting in THIS entry. *winks*

How are YOU doin?!?!??

* - not the pubic wig version of a Merkin. I didn't know pubic wigs were- ok, I didn't know that pubic wigs even existed much less were called Merkins. I learned something new today and am disturbed by the number of parallels one could draw between some American stereotypes and pubic wigs.......

Doggone It, Cats are Crazy!

I admit, I have a mad adoration for the four-legged domestic furbabies. Dogs, I adore. They're loyal and snurfly and cute and they love to run and jump and play and a good scritch and a snuzzle and they're friends for life with the good people of the world.

I don't limit my love to the canines, I usually fawn over felines as much as I cuddly the canines. For the first time ever, a critter has moved in that seems to loathe me as much as catterly possible.

Maddy, whom you've met already and know as The Mad Catter, is just a bit.... special, if you know what I mean.

Let me illustrate with a recent episode, eh? I'm not sure if our beloved Pharaoh or if Maddy started it, but I walked in on quite a scene...

I walked into the laundry room and Jack had his head buried in the cat box, which is a Boda Dome - for those who aren't familiar, it's a covered litter box that looks a lot like an igloo. The cats were both primly sitting on the dryer, watching Jack snurfle through the litter (I assume that's what Jack was doing anyway, his head and shoulders were buried in the litter box and I heard badness occurring under the dome). I can't decide if the cats were egging Jack on, or if they were just observing in frustration... but the general feeling as I walked in was:

Pharaoh: "I told you he'd stick his head in there."

Maddy: "Dogs really do eat shit. That is effin' insane. Unbelievable. And he does this every time???"

Pharaoh: "Well, sure, until the humans catch hi- AAAHHH!"

The AAAHHH is when I opened the door to the laundry room. I have NEVER seen animals vacate an area so quickly. Jack "scooby-doo'd" his way out the door, all four paws sliding over the laminate flooring, desperately hoping to escape before I figured out what he was up to. The cats made space shuttle launches look tame with their take off from the top of the dryer.

Yanno, I wasn't even remotely upset when I walked in, but it was like guilty six year olds running off after taking extra cookies from the cookie jar. Or frat boys when the cops show up. Or Brittany Spears facing someone with a camera.....

Anyway, after a moment of staring wide eyed at the empty laundry room, I banished Jack to his kennel. It was almost a waste of breath, since he was heading there anyway. He KNOWS better, but somehow cannot resist the allure of crunchy turds. He ran for his kennel and promply hung his head, then realized THAT wasn't getting him out of trouble, so he rolled to his back and went belly up. *sigh I always wanna cave when he does that super-submissive thing, and I was sorta softening, starting to laugh about the whole "reminds me of a busted frat party" situation when an angry, poofy, gray thing attempted to embed itself in my calf.

The Mad Catter decided I needed to lose a leg.

Maddy bit and clawed as hard as possible and I Freaked. Out. The bite/attack/gray whirlwind wasn't a reaction to me wandering inside and scaring them - well, obviously it was PART of that - but the cat had time for me to walk through the house, look at the dog in his kennel while he rolled over, close the door to the kennel and turn to Jase, laughing.

This attack, my friends, was plotted, planned and executed by the cat. Sure, it wasn't well thought out, because the cat wound up flying across the room (I react poorly to creatures sampling my flavor without permission). But even in his adrenaline pumped state, he had to have some kind of thought process about taking me out of the equation.

I do not advocate being mean to ANY creature - no matter how batshit insane it might be, unless it's a human or an insect. Even then, I often feel kinda bad about the bugs. Cats who bite me? They can suck wind.

Yes, I startled Maddy - but the cat's scared me out of a dead sleep several times (he's watched me sleep and did this weird "heavy breathing" thing in my ear. Fer reals the cat sniffs SO loudly, it's creepy. He snores too, but that's cute, not creepy.... anyway - when I woke up, freaked out about stalkers and such, I didn't kill the cat or skin it or whack it or sell it to some cat-needing farm lady who has mice in her barn or whatever.

Yet I startle the cat and it decides to sample me, a la carte or something.

Boo, kitty. Boo. SO! Maddy needs a new home. Bite me once when I startle you - I get that, is understandable. My bad! Specially when the chomp came when I clutched the kitty closer when something scared me. Bite me the second time about a minute AFTER I startle you? Fuck off, cat. We're obviously not compatible.

To further the Non-Compatibility-Assessment, I was fussing with my hair int he bathroom and he jumps up on the counter and starts rubbing on my arms and waist. I thought "Hey! Possibly a truce!" Silly me. It was a luuuure and I feel for it. I let him sniff my hand, rubbed his face, scritched his ear, and he flopped over and tried to eat my ARM, though he didn't land any teeth that time, just claws. I had a spastic moment where I literally had to walk away before I actually HURT an animal on purpose for the first time in my life.

SO - Maddy is here, and I hope his mama finds a pet friendly apartment soon. I also hope some animal psychologist can someday explain why the cat curls up around my legs at night but tries to kill me during the day. I like sinking my teeth into a good steak, but you dont' see me cuddling cows at night, yanno?

In other random news, Abby has come to stay with us for a week or so. I was originally under the impression that Abby was a French Bulldog, but I've since changed my opinion. I'm fairly certain Abby is a Star Wars extra. I can't decide if she's Yoda or the Sarlacc (depends on if she's curious or looking at me with her mouth open.) She snorts and grunts and occasionally screams. I loathe the screaming, but luckily we've ended most of that now... She snurfles and snuffles and slurps and it's rather odd to have so many doggie noises in teh house after having a husky for so long. Jack is darn quiet compared to Abby's lifestyle!

The snoring was a surprise - yet should not have been. I mean, the dog has its nose smooshed into its head, so she obviously has issues breathing. Why wouldn't she snore?? At night, her snores rival anything else I've ever heard. Jase thought it was ME at first, and I'm somewhat horrified to consider that I've sounded that snore-y while I was sleeping. Of course, I thought it was Jase at first, but when we realized it was the dog, it was amusing.

Abby snores every night. Jase, I can poke and he rolls over and stops. I assume he has similar tricks for me on the rare occasion a snore makes it through his Sailor Sleep (for the record, sailors sleep through ANYTHING except General Quarters. Kinda like yelling "CODE BLUE! ROOM 113! STAT!!!" for an intern sleeping on a cot near the ER). The dog we cannot poke or prod or anything... I mean, she's sleeping and seven months! Who wakes up sleeping puppies, even if they're snoring loud enough to wake neighbors?

Me.

I admit, after 30 body-rattling snores, I nudge her or call her name. It unsettles her enough that she shifts and drifts back to sleep, sans snores. Thank goodness. And yes, I could her snores once they wake me up. Most of the time, she snores about 10 times and then wakes herself up with it, so no intervention needed on my part!

Abby is also a bit of a foodie. She likes her chicken sauteed and her edamame steamed. She likes her dinner warm and her breakfast cold. The first day or two I was actually pretty concerned about her eating - Abby's mom let us know she's finicky and has issues with some foods, so she brought over enough food to feed a small army for a week and a small dog through the apocalypse. Ok, it wasn't THAT much, but close!

After a day or so, I finally caved and quit stresing so much about Abby's meals. It was a LOT easier once I started doing my own thing - afterall a dog will NOT allow itself to starve if it's healthy, and by all accounts, Abby is healthy and happy for a french puppy bulldog. It matters not that she looks like a star wars extra. She gets a scoop o' dry food in the morning, a soup bone to gnaw on throughout the day, and a scoop o' dry food with chicken and edamame in the evening. She seems pretty pleased overall, but doesn't like waiting past 6pm for dinner. On that score, I can't blame her.

She's used to being "in charge" in her house, I think. I haven't seen her with her parents very often, but from the food issues they described (and the warnings that Abby will want to shower or bathe with us if given the opportunity), I think she pretty much has run of the house. While on one hand, kudos to puppy parents for being accommodating. On the other, I truly believe dogs need leadership from people. Dogs have pack instincts and if there isn't a clear leader who makes solid decisions and sticks by them, the dog will step up and assume that role in his or her own way.

Once Abby figured out who was in charge, she's been doing much better. She still pushes (a LOT) but she knows when I mean business and she knows more of the routine. She's sweet and smart and a bit sassy. She loves cuddles and knows she has to keep her bone on her blanket now and she doesn't mind hanging out in her kennel when it's not safe for her to meander around the house, like when we're not home or when I'm cooking. She's figuring out what "Sit" and "No!" and "Blanket" and "Leave It!" and "Down!" all mean. Abby is definitely not fond of following the "Blanket" command when she thinks Jack may have a better treat than she's got - but she's getting the hang of staying on her blanket when she has something to eat outside of "normal" eating hours.

Considering our society, it doesn't surprise me that people equate being "in charge" of their dogs with almost being mean to them. A lot of people believe if they don't pamper their dogs, the dogs won't love them somehow.

Reality: Dogs LOVE good people. They may not always respect good people... but they're awesome souls and will love you, period. You had a bad day? They're there for you. You had a great day? They're happy for you! You came home??? They're SO FREAKIN HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

People aren't that supportive of their own species, yanno?

I think a dog with a loving, but firm owner feels safe and knows the limits. Their behavior improves, their outlook improves because they know what they have to do within their routine that allows them to have a Great Freakin Day. They also know that Mom or Dad will do What's Best. They trust us human-types - and I like to hope that's usually that's for the best.

If a dog doesn't trust you, he might eat something he shouldn't and not listen when you tell him to leave it, or he might not take medicine he needs because he doesn't respect your judgment. She might freak out when you have to remove a tick or a splinter. She may resist basic grooming because she' doesn't know you're doing what is best for her. I think it's so so critical for your dog to trust that you will do the right thing for him so when you HAVE to do something a bit uncomfortable, the dog will feel better with you doing it. "If Mom is doing this for me, it must be for the best, even if this is weird!"

Kinda like having your Mom put a bandaid on a booboo when you're little, rather than your best friend play doctor. Your bestie doing it is still ok... but it's not the same as when Mom does it. Lots of times there's a bit of doubt if it's all REALLY ok when the friend puts on the bandaid, because Mom always makes it better, right?

I know Jack regularly tests his limits - and I think Abby may do that in her home as well. I don't think that's a BAD thing by any means - it reaffirms their place in the home and their trust in our decision making. Too bad it's not that easy when dealing with other people, eh?

A Letter to the Disgruntled:

Dear ... uhm ... Everyone?

Please note - this may or may not apply to you... but I've seen so much fear and loathing posting up on Facebook. A good rant has it's place (and I LURVE me some sarcasm) but please remember.... negativity spreads fast.

I wanna let folks know that this isn't the President's fault. The guy isn't Jesus, no matter how desperately some people want him to be. He is also not all powerful. Obama canna point a gun at the members of Congress and say "PASS A BUDGET OR ELSE!" (though I'd be kinda amused if he wanted to) so for those out there being Obama-Haters, stop blaming him for Congress not getting stuff done. Hate yer state reps first.

Write your legislators, ask them questions. Research their stance on the current crisis. If they don't respond to your concerns, or you don't like how they're comporting themselves, consider letting them know how you feel during elections. Ok, you can let 'em know before that - but booting their asses out of office with nothing more than a click of your electronic vote feels nice.

Use the tools you have. It takes time, but its better to be active and have UNDERSTANDING of what's happening. Do some research. Project competence rather than desperation.

While yes, posting about things on Facebook and setting up events with people attending DOES send a certain message (odd how social media has started affecting government and media coverage... but that's another story) it's a few clicks and that's it. If you're furious or desperate or terrified - DO MORE! LEARN MORE! Google is your friend - TriCare is NOT shutting down. The Chaplains and the FFSC and Military OneSource and your ombudsmen/key spouses still have resources to help deal with emotional and financial stress.

MANY resources are available for our military members - NMCRS is geared up and doing their best. USAA and NavyFed (and any other civilian company, really) are ALL aware of potential issues. Command financial counselors have info at the ready if you need help or just want reassurance.

I LOVE me a good rant, especially one peppered with wit and sarcasm - but I'm asking for a favor: if you're going to post, try to post something constructive along with your vents and rants. So many companies have already issued advice on how to handle the situation.

We all know how to be frugal - as military families, many of us have dealt with scary lean times before. If not? Again, Military OneSource has GREAT info on not just budgeting, but budget friendly, healthy recipes, inexpensive family activities, and more.

I am HELLACIOUSLY and VICIOUSLY proud of my friends and family in the military. Stay strong, stay proud. USE the voice and the knowledge you have to let Congress know how you feel and how you're affected. Help others as you can - maybe carpool? Consider inviting families over for pasta and a movie, especially if they're lower enlisted and obviously nervous. Help people learn some coping and budgeting skills - stop and smell the roses... now is the time to enjoy life's simpler pleasures. I, for one, will miss my hazelnut mochas and an additional open skate night, and those new releases on iTunes, and of COURSE there are like, four series of books releasing new titles this week - but hey - my family being secure and happy is more important than the temporary satisfaction I get out of buying those things.

I think it will be VERY interesting to see how our military and government employees NOT putting money into the economy affects things.

And in the meantime? I'm putting my congressmen and women under the microscope and when pay does kick back in, I'm relabeling my savings account: "For the Next Time Congress Sucks."

Love and Politics,

~Me

April Foods?

A couple years ago, we started really getting into holidays with the kiddo - I feel sorta bad in a way, because she gets letters and notes from holiday characters who aren't real.... but she enjoys it and asks about upcoming holidays and seasons a lot, which gives us a chance to discuss everything from changing season to religion.

More than anything, right now it makes both of us happy so I squish the "you're kinda lying to your kid" voice and write her letters from Elves in Santa's Workshop, the Easter Bunny, and I have Lemmy the Leprechaun wreak havoc on the house every year (though admittedly, Lemmy only brought some cupcakes this year and messed her room up a bit. He's been blamed by Small Thing for any broken toys discovered and such since then though. Guess that gives Jack Morgan an out, eh?).

This year, April Fools snuck up on me - last year I was prepared with "jello juice" for Small Thing and her bestie and "grilled cheese" sandwiches for dinner:

Staged after the initial discovery of the "jello" While I AM a bit of a paparazzi parent, the girls would've been too suspicious if I took pics of them just for drinking some juice!

Do you like cake? Oh I like cake..... Small Thing was utterly ooged out at first, since she was expecting bread and cheese. "What is WRONG with this?!" but when she realized it was cake and icing? Highly amused.

This year? I was scrambling for ideas at the last minute (thank goodness for Google). While pics aren't complete I can give you an idea of what's on the menu this evening:

We like peas and carrots again!

I know the colors are a bit off and there's a huge variation in sizing, but the kiddo doesn't have peas very often, so I think I can get away with it, at least for a minute!

I used watermelon airheads and coated the outside with a bit of food coloring and green apple jolly rancher chews for the peas. The carrots is an orange airhead smooshed into squares. Big love to 2 for staying up until O-God-Thirty rolling stupid little peas with me!

It's a loaf. Of not meat!

Another thing we don't have very often is meatloaf - while this one doesn't look TOO bad all in one chunk, I'm going to slice it and plate it before she gets to the table so hopefully it looks even better all cut up.

It's the equivalent of rice krispy treats - but I pulsed the cereal in a food processor and added some cocoa to the marshmallows and butter as it was melting to keep the color more like ground beef. The gravy goop on top is a fruit leather I tore and smooshed onto the top.

As a side dish, I'm gonna add "mashed potatoes" (aka a scoop of ice cream) and for dessert? CUPCAKES! But, uh, the cupcakes are gonna be made of meatloaf with colored mashed potatoes for icing.


Anyone wanna come over for dinner???